How to teach your baby ' find and replace' of their dummy/ pacifier based on object permanence

A science backed guide to independent sleep after 8 months and object permanence!!

One of the most common reasons babies wake multiple times overnight is surprisingly simple. They fall asleep with a pacifier (dummy) in their mouth and don’t yet have the skills to find and replace it when it falls out. Parents race back and forth all night, the baby becomes dependent on an adult to recreate the exact conditions they fell asleep with and everyone ends up exhausted.

The good news is that after around 8 months, babies are developmentally ready to learn how to independently find and replace their pacifier. This isn’t a trick or a sleep hack. It’s simply aligning sleep biology with the right developmental window.

This guide will show you exactly how to teach your baby to replace their pacifier themselves, why the timing matters and how this skill can completely transform night sleep.

Why pacifier/ dummy replacement becomes an issue around 8 months

Before 7 to 8 months, babies do not have the fine motor skills or spatial awareness to reliably re-insert a pacifier in the dark. They also lack mature object permanence, which is the brain’s ability to know an object still exists even when it can’t be seen.

By around 8 months, three major developmental milestones line up:

• Stronger object permanence • Improved hand-to-mouth coordination • Bilateral hand use that helps guide and stabilise objects • The cognitive ability to learn a repeated, predictable sequence

This is why teaching pacifier/ dummy replacement earlier than this rarely works. Their brains and motor skills simply aren’t ready. But after 8 months, they can learn it quickly when given the opportunity.

The science of sleep associations and why the pacifier/ dummy matters so much

A sleep association is anything your baby links with the process of falling asleep. For many babies, the pacifier is a primary association. It triggers calming reflexes, slows heart rate and helps transition into the first stage of sleep.

This becomes problematic only when the pacifier is the one part of their sleep association bundle they cannot control independently.

When a baby falls asleep with a pacifier in their mouth but cannot replace it, every sleep cycle ends with a full wake. As they enter light sleep, they become aware that something is missing and cry out for help. It’s not habit. It’s biology.

Teaching pacifier/ dummy replacement keeps the sleep cues consistent across all night cycles. The brain recognises the same conditions it fell asleep with and transitions more smoothly into deeper, more restorative stages of sleep.

How independent pacifier replacement improves night sleep

From around 8 months, babies naturally spend more time in lighter stages of sleep between cycles. If they cannot manage their pacifier on their own, their sleep becomes fragmented.

Independent pacifier replacement supports:

• Longer stretches of consolidated night sleep • Fewer false starts • Reduced early morning waking • Easier transitions between sleep cycles • Less frustration and lower cortisol spikes • More slow wave sleep that supports memory, immune function and emotional regulation

Parents often see huge improvements within days of teaching this skill.

How to teach your baby to find and replace their pacifier/ dummy

This is a gentle, teachable process based entirely on repetition, motor learning and giving your baby the chance to practise.

Step 1: Place multiple pacifiers in the crib

Keep 4 to 6 pacifiers in the crib so your baby is more likely to land on one while feeling around in the dark. This dramatically increases early success.

Step 2: Practise during the day- IMPORTANT!

Sit behind your baby on the floor. Place a pacifier beside their hand and gently guide them to pick it up and bring it to their mouth. Repeat until they do it independently.

Step 3: Practise at bedtime

At bedtime, place the pacifier in your baby’s hand, not their mouth. Let them guide it in. This teaches the sequence their brain needs to store and repeat overnight.

Step 4: What to do during overnight check-ins

If your baby wakes overnight, pause for a moment to see if they begin feeling around for a pacifier. Many babies only need a small moment of space to attempt it.

If they don’t attempt, go in calmly and place the pacifier in their hand. Gently guide their hand upwards so they complete the movement into their own mouth.This is the single most important part of teaching find and replace. Every time you place the pacifier directly into their mouth, the brain learns “a parent does this”, not “I can do this”.

Placing it in their hand builds muscle memory, reinforces motor learning and strengthens the neural pathway for independent sleep.

Step 5: Stay consistent

Once you start teaching pacifier replacement, consistency is everything. Babies learn incredibly fast when the pattern stays the same at bedtime and throughout the night.

How this supports long term independent sleep

A baby who can replace their pacifier independently is a baby who can connect sleep cycles without help. This leads to:

• Longer nights • Deeper sleep • More stable naps • Reduced overtiredness • A calmer, more confident baby

Pacifier replacement is a small skill that has a major impact on sleep confidence and night-time independence.

When to get personalised support

If your baby is over 8 months and still experiencing pacifier wakes, false starts, early rising or short naps, the pacifier may be only one piece of the puzzle. Routine, sleep environment, nutrition and developmental windows also play key roles.

If you’d like a personalised, science-led plan tailored to your baby, you can book a consult with me anytime.